I love having time off work, I guess most people do - You can have lie ins, do what you want, eat what you want and promise yourself that the diet starts next year, drink loads and spend time with the people you love.
Sadly Jeff and I are apart over Christmas and even when we were together before, this was the case. His parents and family live about a 6 hours drive away, so he left on Christmas eve to be with them and won't be back until the 2nd January. My parents and family, on the other hand - only live an hour away, therefore I can travel back and forth to see them over the Christmas period without having to spend all my time with them.
It seems quite cruel at the moment - having only got back in contact with Jeff, to be seperated at the moment. We email and we had a really lovely 2 hour chat tonight, however we won't be seeing each other for another few days and when you've not seen someone for over a year and then suddenly, out of the blue, start making contact with them again... it sucks Donkey balls to not be able to continue seeing each other.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big issue - it just seems it at the moment as we can't be together. I can do 'perspective' and I can understand that considering some women have to say goodbye to their partners for months whilst they are in the army / work abroad etc, the Christmas period is absolutely nothing - I think it just feels like eternity at the moment as we enjoyed the last month so much, rediscovering each other and enjoying spending time together.
Both of us have had crappy things happen to us since we said goodbye - and what really hurts is that we can't hug or touch each other. I think, when we were on the phone tonight, both of us would have given anything to have 5 minutes with each other...
Still, only another few days and hopefully we will be back together. Until then, we shall email like crazy and enjoy the time with our family and friends as hopefully... we'll have the rest of our lives to spend time with each other.
-Molly
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Thursday 23 December 2010
Carols by candlelight
We had a fantastic time last night at the ‘Carols by Candlelight’ concert in London.
I met Jeff after work at 5pm at the train station and we headed into London – it was quite tight as the doors opened at 6:45pm, with the concert starting at 7:30pm, so we had already decided to grab something on the way. A couple of tube stops and changes and we were in Knightsbridge – I hadn’t been there for ages and had forgotten that it was home to Harrods, Harvey Nicks etc. The buildings looked very festive with all the twinkly lights and I was suddenly annoyed with myself for not taking a days holiday, after all, we could have arrived when the store was still open and who knows what kind of things we could have bought?
Hunting for quick and easy food to eat thankfully didn’t prove too difficult. We found a Japanese ‘takeaway’ place called Wasabi which allowed you to mix and match your own sushi or take away some hot food in a box or tub. Sadly the sushi that they had didn’t look that edible, so Jeff and I got some chicken teriyaki and some katsu curry and hurried to the Royal Albert hall, only to stand outside by a wall and scoff the lot. I’m not entirely sure what the other ticket holders thought of us, stood by a wall, shoving chicken curry into our gob, but hey – it tasted great and was certainly better than going hungry!
We finally got into the hall at about 7:10pm, found our seats and sat down. We were in the arena so the view wasn’t overly great, but as we would be mostly singing and not watching the orchestra or choir, I don’t think it detracted too much from the whole experience. We got to sing LOADS of carols such as ‘Away in a manger’ and ‘Oh come all Ye faithful’ Jeff has a really good voice so it was quite intimidating trying not to sound completely tone deaf next to him – the fact there were loads of other people singing helped a lot. It was really, really nice just listening to classical music with Jeff – he admitted to me that he hadn’t actually been to any concerts since we had split as none of his friends are really interested in it, nor was the lady he had a relationship with this year. It felt really nice that both of us were there and both genuinely wanted to be there – You know in a lot of relationships, someone has to compromise and do things to make the other person happy? Most of the time it seems to be the case that Jeff and I want to do the same thing, anyway.
The concert finished by 10:00pm and we didn’t stay for the encore – I felt a bit mean, however it would take us 2 hours to get back and my cough had started to play up again so I really just wanted to get back and go to sleep. We managed to get back to Jeff’s for 11:50pm which wasn’t bad considering the train was delayed at the station due to it ‘awaiting a train staff member’. I had a thoroughly fantastic night and thought it was a great ‘final thing’ to do in 2010 before we said goodbye to each other over the Christmas and New Year period.
-Molly
Hunting for quick and easy food to eat thankfully didn’t prove too difficult. We found a Japanese ‘takeaway’ place called Wasabi which allowed you to mix and match your own sushi or take away some hot food in a box or tub. Sadly the sushi that they had didn’t look that edible, so Jeff and I got some chicken teriyaki and some katsu curry and hurried to the Royal Albert hall, only to stand outside by a wall and scoff the lot. I’m not entirely sure what the other ticket holders thought of us, stood by a wall, shoving chicken curry into our gob, but hey – it tasted great and was certainly better than going hungry!
We finally got into the hall at about 7:10pm, found our seats and sat down. We were in the arena so the view wasn’t overly great, but as we would be mostly singing and not watching the orchestra or choir, I don’t think it detracted too much from the whole experience. We got to sing LOADS of carols such as ‘Away in a manger’ and ‘Oh come all Ye faithful’ Jeff has a really good voice so it was quite intimidating trying not to sound completely tone deaf next to him – the fact there were loads of other people singing helped a lot. It was really, really nice just listening to classical music with Jeff – he admitted to me that he hadn’t actually been to any concerts since we had split as none of his friends are really interested in it, nor was the lady he had a relationship with this year. It felt really nice that both of us were there and both genuinely wanted to be there – You know in a lot of relationships, someone has to compromise and do things to make the other person happy? Most of the time it seems to be the case that Jeff and I want to do the same thing, anyway.
The concert finished by 10:00pm and we didn’t stay for the encore – I felt a bit mean, however it would take us 2 hours to get back and my cough had started to play up again so I really just wanted to get back and go to sleep. We managed to get back to Jeff’s for 11:50pm which wasn’t bad considering the train was delayed at the station due to it ‘awaiting a train staff member’. I had a thoroughly fantastic night and thought it was a great ‘final thing’ to do in 2010 before we said goodbye to each other over the Christmas and New Year period.
-Molly
Wednesday 22 December 2010
Memories
I hate clichés.
I therefore hate agreeing with any of them, especially when they’re as trite as ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’.
When Jeff and I split in October 2009, I forced myself to ‘not’ think of all the things we had done together as it just hurt. The longer we were apart, the less it hurt, but knowing that you’re never going to do any of the fun things you did with someone you loved again is not something you’ll get over quickly.
When Jeff and I got back into contact, we spent (and are still spending) a long time talking about what we did in the 3.5 years we were together and some of the memories we had. Surprisingly, it seems that nearly all memories we have are good ones with just a smattering of arguments.
We just did so much ‘stuff’ together. So many mini breaks to the most random of places – sometimes they were posh breaks with 5 star hotels and massively expensive meals, at other times they were travel lodge budget breaks and stopping off at KFC for a bite to eat – the only constant was that we were together and always enjoyed ourselves with doing stupid stuff.
Our two ‘main’ holidays which conjure up a lot of memories for both of us are abroad. Prague in 2008 was utterly breathtaking and we did so much sightseeing it was unbelievable. We walked everywhere and were completely knackered, yet didn’t seem to mind as we saw so much. Berlin in 2009 was also incredibly fun, however sadly this was tinged with upset due to my job being a constant thorn in my side and the fact I was so exhausted when we went on holiday. Both holidays saw us looking at lots of architecture, reading up on the culture and history of the country and generally trying to ‘experience’ as much as possible – be it eating currywurst , smoking a cigar or trying to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ in the local language.
Other fantastic memories include staying in a travel lodge in Exeter and travelling down to look at the Eden Project and being stunned at the beautiful scenery in Northumberland – Jeff and I went on a boat trip to find Puffins, but sadly they weren’t there. We did, however, find a lot of seals on another small island! We also went to Scotland and stayed in Traquair House which is a wonderful place (Dating back to 1107, Traquair was originally a hunting lodge for the kings and queens of Scotland. Later a refuge for Catholic priests in times of terror the Stuarts of Traquair supported Mary Queen of Scots and the Jacobite cause without counting the cost – according to the website!) and had a mini break to Ipswich, where we found a wonderful Thai restaurant and a gorgeous beach in the sunset. We also travelled to the Lake District and despite it raining nearly all weekend, we still managed to go to a number of National Trust properties and have a nice boat ride on an Ullswater Steam boat.
One year, we decided to go to Center Parcs – Jeff paid for it as a present for my birthday. Sadly it rained all weekend and I remember not being overly happy about cycling to various places in the park, in the rain. Oddly – I’ve got some exceptionally fond memories from that holiday as we managed to entice a very tame duck into our cabin and fed it bread! I also woke up one morning to find Jeff by the window, whispering at me to bring my camera and when I got there, there was a deer standing right outside, just staring at us. I think the thing that topped off the weekend was us both getting massages in the spa and being tucked up under warm blankets, listening to the rain outside whilst being really sleepy. It’s funny as at the time, I don’t think either of us would have rated our holiday as ‘amazing’, but I don’t really remember the bad parts – only the fun we had together when we did falconry or eating random Mexican food.
However, it wasn’t just holidays that we remembered – we did loads and loads of ‘day trips’ to places. We went to the Goodwood festival of speed in 2007 and 2008, visited the New Forest on more than one occasion and popped into a few local pubs to sample their local tipples. We used to cook together as well and both of our main memory is me, burning Jeff’s old work surface as I was stupid enough to put a baking tray on the bottom of the oven and place it straight onto his work surface (Sorry Jeff, you were right about that one – It DID get quite hot!) We went to firework displays every year and went to really enjoyable classical music concerts all over the place. We had picnics by the river on a sunny day and visited butterfly farms, which had me jumping around all over the place trying to take nice photographs of butterflies.
We ate at so many restaurants – all over the place. Places where you cook your meat on a stone, places where you have raw fish (I adore Japanese food), places where you pick the raw fish you’d like the chef to cook for you... I always enjoyed eating with Jeff as he’d always let me try (read: steal) some of his food so I could see what it was like – One thing that made me smile was our first ‘posh’ meal after a year of not seeing each other and he still offered to give me some of his food to try :-)
I don’t think Jeff and I are planning on redoing all of these things – sometimes it’s best to keep the memories in your head. However, whatever happens and for however long it lasts, I think we’re both really looking forward to 2011 and seeing what new ones we can create together.
- Molly
I therefore hate agreeing with any of them, especially when they’re as trite as ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’.
When Jeff and I split in October 2009, I forced myself to ‘not’ think of all the things we had done together as it just hurt. The longer we were apart, the less it hurt, but knowing that you’re never going to do any of the fun things you did with someone you loved again is not something you’ll get over quickly.
When Jeff and I got back into contact, we spent (and are still spending) a long time talking about what we did in the 3.5 years we were together and some of the memories we had. Surprisingly, it seems that nearly all memories we have are good ones with just a smattering of arguments.
We just did so much ‘stuff’ together. So many mini breaks to the most random of places – sometimes they were posh breaks with 5 star hotels and massively expensive meals, at other times they were travel lodge budget breaks and stopping off at KFC for a bite to eat – the only constant was that we were together and always enjoyed ourselves with doing stupid stuff.
Our two ‘main’ holidays which conjure up a lot of memories for both of us are abroad. Prague in 2008 was utterly breathtaking and we did so much sightseeing it was unbelievable. We walked everywhere and were completely knackered, yet didn’t seem to mind as we saw so much. Berlin in 2009 was also incredibly fun, however sadly this was tinged with upset due to my job being a constant thorn in my side and the fact I was so exhausted when we went on holiday. Both holidays saw us looking at lots of architecture, reading up on the culture and history of the country and generally trying to ‘experience’ as much as possible – be it eating currywurst , smoking a cigar or trying to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ in the local language.
However, it wasn’t just holidays that we remembered – we did loads and loads of ‘day trips’ to places. We went to the Goodwood festival of speed in 2007 and 2008, visited the New Forest on more than one occasion and popped into a few local pubs to sample their local tipples. We used to cook together as well and both of our main memory is me, burning Jeff’s old work surface as I was stupid enough to put a baking tray on the bottom of the oven and place it straight onto his work surface (Sorry Jeff, you were right about that one – It DID get quite hot!) We went to firework displays every year and went to really enjoyable classical music concerts all over the place. We had picnics by the river on a sunny day and visited butterfly farms, which had me jumping around all over the place trying to take nice photographs of butterflies.
We ate at so many restaurants – all over the place. Places where you cook your meat on a stone, places where you have raw fish (I adore Japanese food), places where you pick the raw fish you’d like the chef to cook for you... I always enjoyed eating with Jeff as he’d always let me try (read: steal) some of his food so I could see what it was like – One thing that made me smile was our first ‘posh’ meal after a year of not seeing each other and he still offered to give me some of his food to try :-)
I don’t think Jeff and I are planning on redoing all of these things – sometimes it’s best to keep the memories in your head. However, whatever happens and for however long it lasts, I think we’re both really looking forward to 2011 and seeing what new ones we can create together.
- Molly
Fun Filled Festive Frivolities
What do you do when you start seeing your ex partner again after a year?
Go for a drink? Check.
Spend loads of time catching up, filling each other in on what each other has been up to over the year? Check.
Spend the best part of 3-4 days making mince pies, mulled wine, visiting a number of farm shops, baking cupcakes, buying fine wine from a wine merchant, have a meal in a very posh hotel, book a holiday, decide to go to the annual ‘Cheese awards’, go to a classical music concert in London?
Erm.... Check?
The last few days have been awesome – For both of us, I think. Despite me having a very nasty cold, Jeff and I have been getting to know each other again and have done all manner of funky stuff.
When we were together, we used to go on loads of really cool holidays. We went to Prague and Berlin and did loads of really, really cool UK holidays such as visiting Northumberland, Scotland, Ipswich, Cornwall, Exeter, Oxford, Hertfordshire..... We always managed to find fun things to do and as we’re both National Trust nuts, it usually involved at least one castle or stately home. Getting back in contact, we thought it might be nice to go on holiday somewhere else, somewhere new, so we can make some more memories. Being the ‘control freak’ in the partnership, I suggested to Jeff that I organise everything and he just turn up at the train station and I’ll tell him where we’re going and what we’re doing. So, on January 28th 2011, Jeff will be turning up at the train station and will be told where our mini weekend break will be! I’ve been having great fun organising everything and on the day we travel to our destination, will be giving Jeff an envelope with a number of clues in it, so he can guess where we’re going....
Saturday morning, Jeff picked me up in his 4 wheel car due to the snow issue – I do drive (and it’s an absolutely fantastic car), however Jeff’s handles better in the snow, so he drove to my house and off we went to the first farm shop. Neither of us had visited it before and we managed to buy quite a lot of ingredients to make ‘Venison and red wine casserole’ which was the plan on Saturday night. Unfortunately, I had come down with a very nasty chest infection, therefore there was a lot of coughing and nose blowing as well as the chattering nineteen to the dozen. We then headed to a supermarket to get all the rest of the ingredients and some cough mixture for me.
Everything seems rather surreal at the moment – The last time I was at that supermarket was when Jeff and I were together over a year ago – The last time we spoke on the phone, was when he dumped me, the last time we went out for a posh meal was the week before we split.... I know it will get easier, but it’s been a very odd few days.
Once armed with the food stuffs we headed back to Jeff’s house and started to make mince pies – I have to say, they turned out rather well considering we made some changes to the recipe. The casserole, we did later on in the day and again, it turned out incredibly well – We woofed it down with some lovely crusty rolls and then couldn’t really move for a few minutes. I think Jeff is planning on having the leftovers today for lunch. We made mulled wine ‘half properly’ and it tasted great – I think that’s another thing we have in common, we both like a drink :-)
Sunday was more farm shops and a lovely walk in the snow along a river. It was lovely just holding hands and everything being far less... complicated. When I was working away from home, Jeff travelled to see me at least once a week and I didn’t see him at weekends as I was so busy trying to fit all my friends and family in – just ‘chilling’ and spending time together without having to worry about travelling back to work is something I’m still really happy about. I taught Jeff another one of my recipes and the Lamb Byriani turned out exceptionally well – I think we’ll be the size of houses if we continue cooking every night, though.
Monday night was the night we had booked the posh meal – it was a tradition of ours to go to this hotel once a year at Christmas. Last Christmas we had just split up, therefore we obviously didn’t go, however when we got back in contact we decided that this was a tradition that we both enjoyed and therefore were willing to try again and risk damaging the memories. I shouldn’t have worried, it was utterly, utterly perfect. Jeff looked absolutely gorgeous in a black suit and when I saw him come downstairs he literally took my breath away – It was snowing when we got to the hotel and sitting by the open log fire with a drink, a gorgeous man and snow outside was such a perfect evening. The meal was wonderful, the service was (as always) brilliant and it didn’t feel like we had been apart at all.
On Tuesday, we decided we would make cupcakes and go and investigate fine wines – Jeff knew of this brilliant Fine Wine shop and Wine merchants very close to his house so we decided to go there and investigate. It was fantastic! We got a few bottles of fine wine and had this really, really nice man recommend a sweet red to us (I’m pretty OK with white wines, don’t have a clue when it comes to red wine). Neither of us had been there before and it was nice to think that having only been in contact just over a month, we’d already found loads of amazing places and done loads of really fun things together. The cupcakes turned out brilliantly – we decorated them ourselves, I think Jeff should quit IT and go into the cupcake making business as I certainly think he has talent in that area!
Lunch time was a wonderfully European affair of cheese, meat and bread – one of the cheeses seemed to have won an award at the ‘annual cheese awards’ and this got me interested, so we Googled the awards and have no decided that due to our shared love of cheese, we will be going to the annual 2011 cheese awards – What relationship can fail if you both share a love of cheese?
Tonight is the classical music concert and I’m so excited. Jeff and I share a love of classical music and whilst I don’t profess to be very knowledgeable in that area, I do know I enjoy listening, learning and experiencing things with the man I never thought I would see again.
- Molly
Go for a drink? Check.
Spend loads of time catching up, filling each other in on what each other has been up to over the year? Check.
Spend the best part of 3-4 days making mince pies, mulled wine, visiting a number of farm shops, baking cupcakes, buying fine wine from a wine merchant, have a meal in a very posh hotel, book a holiday, decide to go to the annual ‘Cheese awards’, go to a classical music concert in London?
Erm.... Check?
The last few days have been awesome – For both of us, I think. Despite me having a very nasty cold, Jeff and I have been getting to know each other again and have done all manner of funky stuff.
When we were together, we used to go on loads of really cool holidays. We went to Prague and Berlin and did loads of really, really cool UK holidays such as visiting Northumberland, Scotland, Ipswich, Cornwall, Exeter, Oxford, Hertfordshire..... We always managed to find fun things to do and as we’re both National Trust nuts, it usually involved at least one castle or stately home. Getting back in contact, we thought it might be nice to go on holiday somewhere else, somewhere new, so we can make some more memories. Being the ‘control freak’ in the partnership, I suggested to Jeff that I organise everything and he just turn up at the train station and I’ll tell him where we’re going and what we’re doing. So, on January 28th 2011, Jeff will be turning up at the train station and will be told where our mini weekend break will be! I’ve been having great fun organising everything and on the day we travel to our destination, will be giving Jeff an envelope with a number of clues in it, so he can guess where we’re going....
Saturday morning, Jeff picked me up in his 4 wheel car due to the snow issue – I do drive (and it’s an absolutely fantastic car), however Jeff’s handles better in the snow, so he drove to my house and off we went to the first farm shop. Neither of us had visited it before and we managed to buy quite a lot of ingredients to make ‘Venison and red wine casserole’ which was the plan on Saturday night. Unfortunately, I had come down with a very nasty chest infection, therefore there was a lot of coughing and nose blowing as well as the chattering nineteen to the dozen. We then headed to a supermarket to get all the rest of the ingredients and some cough mixture for me.
Everything seems rather surreal at the moment – The last time I was at that supermarket was when Jeff and I were together over a year ago – The last time we spoke on the phone, was when he dumped me, the last time we went out for a posh meal was the week before we split.... I know it will get easier, but it’s been a very odd few days.
Once armed with the food stuffs we headed back to Jeff’s house and started to make mince pies – I have to say, they turned out rather well considering we made some changes to the recipe. The casserole, we did later on in the day and again, it turned out incredibly well – We woofed it down with some lovely crusty rolls and then couldn’t really move for a few minutes. I think Jeff is planning on having the leftovers today for lunch. We made mulled wine ‘half properly’ and it tasted great – I think that’s another thing we have in common, we both like a drink :-)
Sunday was more farm shops and a lovely walk in the snow along a river. It was lovely just holding hands and everything being far less... complicated. When I was working away from home, Jeff travelled to see me at least once a week and I didn’t see him at weekends as I was so busy trying to fit all my friends and family in – just ‘chilling’ and spending time together without having to worry about travelling back to work is something I’m still really happy about. I taught Jeff another one of my recipes and the Lamb Byriani turned out exceptionally well – I think we’ll be the size of houses if we continue cooking every night, though.Monday night was the night we had booked the posh meal – it was a tradition of ours to go to this hotel once a year at Christmas. Last Christmas we had just split up, therefore we obviously didn’t go, however when we got back in contact we decided that this was a tradition that we both enjoyed and therefore were willing to try again and risk damaging the memories. I shouldn’t have worried, it was utterly, utterly perfect. Jeff looked absolutely gorgeous in a black suit and when I saw him come downstairs he literally took my breath away – It was snowing when we got to the hotel and sitting by the open log fire with a drink, a gorgeous man and snow outside was such a perfect evening. The meal was wonderful, the service was (as always) brilliant and it didn’t feel like we had been apart at all.
Tonight is the classical music concert and I’m so excited. Jeff and I share a love of classical music and whilst I don’t profess to be very knowledgeable in that area, I do know I enjoy listening, learning and experiencing things with the man I never thought I would see again.
- Molly
2010 - A year in review
2010 has been a very interesting year – However to put it into context, you have to also pull in 2009, which was less interesting and far more, well, pants.
The beginning of 2009 saw myself still dating Jeff, still working for my IT Company as a consultant, still working and living away from home and still very unhappy. The end of 2009 (October the 11th at approximately 8:00pm, not that anyone remembers these things) saw Jeff dumping me via phone as he didn’t think it would work anymore and both of us saying goodbye and trying to move on from our 3.5 years together.
Before anyone starts to think badly of him, Jeff did the right thing – I wasn’t a very nice person in 2009 and I certainly didn’t treat him very well. No, I didn’t cheat, nor did I hit him or abuse him – in fact, I was the total opposite, a very cold, emotionless shell of a person – partly due to my job making me so miserable but partly due to the fact that I think I’d started taking him for granted and not realising that it wasn’t just ‘me’ in a relationship, it was an ‘us’ and sadly Jeff didn’t get any love or emotional input from me in a very long time. With a partner like that, how can you blame him for wanting to leave?
Jeff tried desperately to support me for as long as he could and I know how hard it was for him to walk away - It's only when we started talking again, I was able to tell him that I understood entirely why he ended it, even why he dumped me over the phone (would you want to drive 3 hours, have a 10 minute conversation with someone and then drive another 3 hours back home?)
At the beginning of 2010 I realised that I was the only one who could change things. I changed jobs, moved house, lost a lot of weight and tried to move on with my life. Jeff did a number of similar things as well as meeting and living with his new girlfriend for a few months before the relationship sadly ended. Despite a couple of attempts at the beginning of the year at reconciliation on my part, Jeff couldn’t see a way back and whilst I was suffering from stress with my old job and living over 180 miles away from Jeff for most of the week, I still had enough pride to realise that any begging or pleading to get back together was not the best plan and therefore didn’t contact him again. The last contact we had was on February 17th 2010.
I genuinely didn’t think I would ever hear from Jeff again and as the days turned to weeks and then to months, I stopped thinking about him so often and was able to remember a lot of the crazy-yet-fun things we did together, without welling up or getting a knot in my stomach.
The knot, however, reappeared when on the 22nd November 2010 I got an email from him entitled 'Things..'
I've rewritten the first line to this email about ten times. I'm now bored of deleting it and starting again, so I'm going to pretend I've written it and get on with the rest of the email......
I replied, he replied, I replied.. it was obvious on both sides that we still had feelings for each other and after a few days, we met each other for the first time in over a year.
Now we’re seeing how things go....
One of my (many) regrets from our relationship was that I never took many photographs of us, nor did we document precisely how many crazy, random and fun things we did (and we did a LOT) so, in an effort to make sure we never stop seeing each other again.... This blog has been created to document our time together and detail exactly all the weird stuff we actually do.
-Molly
The beginning of 2009 saw myself still dating Jeff, still working for my IT Company as a consultant, still working and living away from home and still very unhappy. The end of 2009 (October the 11th at approximately 8:00pm, not that anyone remembers these things) saw Jeff dumping me via phone as he didn’t think it would work anymore and both of us saying goodbye and trying to move on from our 3.5 years together.
Before anyone starts to think badly of him, Jeff did the right thing – I wasn’t a very nice person in 2009 and I certainly didn’t treat him very well. No, I didn’t cheat, nor did I hit him or abuse him – in fact, I was the total opposite, a very cold, emotionless shell of a person – partly due to my job making me so miserable but partly due to the fact that I think I’d started taking him for granted and not realising that it wasn’t just ‘me’ in a relationship, it was an ‘us’ and sadly Jeff didn’t get any love or emotional input from me in a very long time. With a partner like that, how can you blame him for wanting to leave?
Jeff tried desperately to support me for as long as he could and I know how hard it was for him to walk away - It's only when we started talking again, I was able to tell him that I understood entirely why he ended it, even why he dumped me over the phone (would you want to drive 3 hours, have a 10 minute conversation with someone and then drive another 3 hours back home?)
At the beginning of 2010 I realised that I was the only one who could change things. I changed jobs, moved house, lost a lot of weight and tried to move on with my life. Jeff did a number of similar things as well as meeting and living with his new girlfriend for a few months before the relationship sadly ended. Despite a couple of attempts at the beginning of the year at reconciliation on my part, Jeff couldn’t see a way back and whilst I was suffering from stress with my old job and living over 180 miles away from Jeff for most of the week, I still had enough pride to realise that any begging or pleading to get back together was not the best plan and therefore didn’t contact him again. The last contact we had was on February 17th 2010.
I genuinely didn’t think I would ever hear from Jeff again and as the days turned to weeks and then to months, I stopped thinking about him so often and was able to remember a lot of the crazy-yet-fun things we did together, without welling up or getting a knot in my stomach.
The knot, however, reappeared when on the 22nd November 2010 I got an email from him entitled 'Things..'
I've rewritten the first line to this email about ten times. I'm now bored of deleting it and starting again, so I'm going to pretend I've written it and get on with the rest of the email......
I replied, he replied, I replied.. it was obvious on both sides that we still had feelings for each other and after a few days, we met each other for the first time in over a year.
Now we’re seeing how things go....
One of my (many) regrets from our relationship was that I never took many photographs of us, nor did we document precisely how many crazy, random and fun things we did (and we did a LOT) so, in an effort to make sure we never stop seeing each other again.... This blog has been created to document our time together and detail exactly all the weird stuff we actually do.
-Molly
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